Saturday, October 16, 2010

new modus operandi

I have come to a decision regarding my constant panic over timelines and peace corps wiki and reading other people's blogs. My decision is that I'm not going to care anymore. Now, this may be easier said than done, we'll see, but I realized that the feeling of "ughhhhh," whenever I see that a new one of "my" countries has started inviting people to "my" region, that it's kind of counter what-the-peace-corps-is-about. I understand that my nomination has a 50% chance of changing, and I'm actually kind of intrigued by this notion, so why not embrace it?

One of the reasons I want to even join PC is because I'm at a unique point in my life, not tied down, sans offspring, and pretty much free to do what I want. I am tired of looking around at my friends and wishing my life was more "on track" like their's are. Watching PC timeline and lamenting over others' invitations to countries I feel like I should be going to is the EXACT SAME THING. In wishing my timeline was more "on track" and "normal" I'm forgetting that my experience will be perfect, as long as I let it be. I mean really, PC isn't going to close any time soon, we're not going to run out of months, there will be room for me, too. I forget what book it was in, maybe Seinlanguage, but the author was talking about his mom giving him crap for "ruining his appetite" before dinner, but he knew another appetite was right behind it somewhere, that's how I'm choosing to approach this from now on. With that said, I will still read your blogs and comment on them (please write more! I LOVE reading them!) I will be happy for you when you get your invitations, I will commiserate over bumps in the road and frustrations, but I will not compare my timeline to yours and panic. Or, at least I will try not to :)

2 comments:

Christina said...

Just wanted to say I'm going through similar emotions! Every time I read about a new invitation, especially to 'my' program or region, I get really jealous. But you're right, that's not the way to approach the situation. Good luck to us both and I'll keep reading and cheering us on!! :)

pckatie said...

I loved this post! I'm sure so many applicants can relate to these feelings (I know I can!) but I can also relate to your feelings of excitement for other applicants recieving their nominations, invitations, etc. I really feel the support and closeness of the Peace Corps community and I am barely even a part of it yet! Keep reading those blogs and keep writing too!