Sunday, December 5, 2010

Relationships. Or, Can I come see you when you're in basic training?

In addition to being fabulously stubborn and obnoxiously optimistic, I tend to let myself get carried away with day dreaming. About boys I have crushes on. These day dreams almost never come to fruition (as in, once they did, seven years ago, and then almost once more a few years later). I've gotten over this obsession in recent times, being older and wiser and generally sick of most guys in my town. I have shared some of this with one of my close friends, but I'm a little ashamed to admit it in general, that I am the most single person you will ever meet. When I was asked about relationships in my interview, I had to chuckle even because I've never really had one and don't expect that to change any time soon. The closest I've had to a serious boyfriend was a guy in college who liked that I liked him and wanted to see him. He took advantage of that fact and I got to snuggle with him occasionally. Other than eventually getting my heart broken, it was a great little system that worked out perfectly. (As long as you don't get too technical about the definition of "perfectly".)

I guess the whole reason behind even beginning this post was to talk about a ridiculous conundrum I've found myself in at one of my volunteer gigs. I go hang out in a friend's classroom once a week or so, and one of the custodians there has fallen in love with me. Apparently he goes to her room every single day to ask if she's talked to me, seen me, heard anything new about my trip, knows when I'm coming again, etc. At first I was flattered that he thought I was cute (never a bad thing to hear) but it's turned into an annoyance because whenever I volunteer or sub, I am literally stalked around the school. He has now asked me out five times, each time with me trying to politely turn him down, saying that I have no interest in starting anything since I'm planning on leaving. I know some of my friends who would say to just go out to dinner, that it couldn't hurt anything, but on top of honestly thinking that beginning something would be a bad idea and hating "dates" in general, this guy is not my type at all. AT ALL. I might feel worse about hurting his feelings if he wasn't so damn sure of himself. Me saying "I'm leaving" has prompted him to ask if he could possibly come visit, when I'll be back, and assure me that he has no issue waiting for me to return, and would like to buy me some land and some chickens and pay my bills. This situation would be hilarious if it was happening to someone else (in fact, my friend the teacher is entirely too amused.)

This all prompted me to think about what would happen if I were to meet someone between now and my departure (this was, of course, followed by a good laugh at myself for imagining such an absurdity). If I were to actually meet the man of my dreams, would I walk away from it? I know my sister-in-law was planning on moving away before she met my brother, and realized that if she were to do so, it would screw things up. She stayed and they got engaged six months later. Would I make the same choice? I think regardless of leaving, I would hang out with someone I thought was cute and fun to be around, keeping in mind how badly I want to do PC. I did feel a little like a schmuck though, on Friday at school, when I asked my friend about this cute teacher, and if he was single. (We'd obviously have to keep that on the DL, my stalker might get mad if he knew I was dating someone, lol.)

8 comments:

The Strix said...

We should talk about this. I have some inside information on this type of thing ^_~

elizabeth said...

ok, you have me intrigued. what's your email? (skype? idc.)

clairefromsandiego said...

Good to know I'm not the only one who managed to finish college without having had a serious relationship... and also that I'm not the only one in the application process who's got a crush (or has someone with a crush on them). :)

Laura said...

A couple of weeks ago I freaked out over a fortune cookie that said "An unexpected relationship will become permanent." So far, nothing's happened (whew).

Tim Curtin said...

I think it's an iron, or at least bronze, rule of life that whenever you're about to leave some place, new reasons to stay manifest themselves. All of a sudden someone comes into your life and tempts you to stray from your course. I've been on both ends of that.

elizabeth said...

at this point i'm not tempted to stay at all, this character who is "stalking" me is just one more reason why I know it's perfect timing to leave :)

The Strix said...

Skype is Nyxstrix

Lew said...

I hope you are using "stalk" rather loosely. If not, there should be no more casual discussion of the danger involved. You need to put that guy straight in no uncertain terms and inform someone in the school administration about your situation.
Remember, too, that the most unkind thing you can do to some misguided guy is to be kind to him.