Cab/Shiraz blend

Fun little update this morning letting me know that I've officially been invited and that my packet was sent on the 22nd. I started to look through the toolkit (since it's all I have right now) and immediately felt overwhelmed by all of the information and the links to seventy-two different pages. I took a deep breath and told myself that thousands of other invitees are dealing with the same things, that people leave the country all the time, and that there's no reason why I can't get my shit together and do it too.

I got an email from an Evite account the other night, it was my four best friends setting up a goodbye weekend for me. I just sat there with tears in my eyes, for maybe the first time since applying, thinking about how I'm actually going to miss so much going on in people's lives. Things don't stop just because I'm not there to see them, unfortunately. I'm most likely going to miss a few weddings, babies being born, first days of kindergarten... I've gone several years without seeing people before, but it's never been realized on this end of it where it's like, "Ok, this is the LAST time I'm going to see you for however long." It's always been, "Oh crap, you know who I haven't seen in FOREVER is so and so."

I keep catching myself looking at my life from the outside. Not as a whole, but just at the fact that I'm going to do Peace Corps. I think about other people I know who do amazing things, and travel, and be adventurous. Until now I've kind of always sat back, comfortable where I am, and marveled at how much fun their lives must be, wishing I could just dip my toe in a little bit of what they're experiencing. Now that's my life. Now I'm the one who is doing something nuts, who is moving to Africa, who is diving in headfirst. The funny thing is, this all feels perfectly natural. I can't imagine not doing it at this point, and I'm almost a little embarrassed at how hard I thought it would be three or five or seven years ago.

I'm actually really proud of myself.