Sunday, January 2, 2011

I hate being in transition

I love change, I really do. I love starting fresh and that little kick in the pants feeling right before you make a change happen. I just hate being in the middle of a change. Whenever I moved, I had to wait until the last minute to pack, because I knew that as soon as I started I'd need to do it all that day. I hated living with boxes everywhere, half in my life, half in limbo. I'd have to unpack and hang things within a day or two at my new house, and then put away all the evidence that suggested I hadn't already been living at that new address for quite some time. I've moved ten times in the last ten years, sometimes once a year, and other years I'd move two or three times. I guess what prompted all this is the fact that I decided to start cleaning out my crap this evening. I started by straightening up my room, then I made my bed and commenced sifting through my underwear drawer. That's how one starts getting dressed in the morning, so I figured it was as good of a place as any to start cleaning out my life. I threw out a lot. I figured little lacy fancy pants panties probably won't get very far in the hand wash situation I will have going on in my new abode. Kind of sad.

I moved on to the closet and other drawers eventually, stopping only to bring a bag of tee-shirts to one of my favorite families who is not my actual family but probably should be counted as such. We chatted for a while and then I made my way home to bag everything up and begin sorting my bathroom stuff. I threw out headbands I never wear, bottles of nail polish that are old and sticky, bottles of perfume that I'm not going to wear before I leave, half used acne wash that I stopped using (much to the chagrin of my forehead), and suntan lotion that won't be used before February. It feels amazing to go through and clean things out, but at the same time I can get carried away and throw out too much and be left with four things to wear. Oops. My mom came in my room more frequently tonight than she has in a long time, making small talk, noticing how big the pile was getting. She commented that it was a little bit sad and asked if it had hit me yet, I think as a way of saying that it had finally hit her.

I have two bags of trash, three bags to donate to goodwill, one for a friend to sift through to see if she wants anything, a small pile of nicer clothes to try to sell to a consignment store, and several things set aside for specific people. Somehow my room doesn't look any different. Maybe because everything I cleaned out was hidden in a dresser and the closet anyway? I'd like to start bringing boxes home from my storage unit and going through them with the same gusto that I had tonight. I'd like to say that I can get my things whittled down to an amount that will fit in my closet here at my mom's house. My little brother is taking my furniture (because it's really family furniture that was my turn to use) and I'm sure I can go through everything and toss a bunch. What is honestly worrying me is all my classroom stuff. That shit multiplies every time I go check on it, like it has the Gemino curse on it or something (HP reference, anyone?). I can't wait to have all this done with so I can concentrate on packing. I don't think I'll feel the rush of excitement until then.

I'm super excited about tomorrow though, I'm going to pick out a backpack :) I know I should try them all before buying one, so my friend offered to take a road trip to a bigger city in order to do so. I'll most likely pick out the exact one I want and then order it online via one of my fabulous PC discounts. Five weeks as of Wednesday.


Tracy said...

Elizabeth, I was just reading your packing list (and now I have more to add to mine, lol). Great idea, btw, putting it on a separate page. Mind if I borrow? So. I love that you call your dresses "too tart". I'm having the same issue. Also, I saw that you have matches on your packing list: unfortunately, I don't think you can bring matches on a plane anymore in your checked baggage- only one book of "non-strike anywhere" (safety matches). But lighters? They're ok. Cattle prods? Only if you check them. I'm also glad you listed 48 pairs of underwear. This makes me feel much better about the number of pairs that I had considered bringing (about 40 or so). Thanks for posting your list! I'll put mine up soon.

elizabeth said...

omgosh... I wonder if i just bring the empty box if that would be ok. my best friends mom got it for me and it's so cute! I could just buy matches over there I'm sure, i just really love the box, i'll post a picture of it :) (obv if i don't get to bring it, it won't be the end of the world but I'm just trying to bring little things that will make me smile and remind me of people) of course you can do your list on a separate page - i copied the idea from other blogs so you're not stealing anything thats mine! I saw somewhere the idea of bagging up half the underwear and breaking them out at the halfway point as a little gift or yourself. i think 24 pairs is reasonable to get me through a year?

Tracy said...

Maybe you can have someone mail it to you? Although matches probably aren't ok to mail, either...

In addition to my shoe addiction, I also have an underwear/bathing suit addiction. If I'm going somewhere (like the beach) for a week, I usually bring about 10 bathing suits and 20 pairs of underwear. So I have no idea how many is good for a year, but I know whatever I would want to bring won't fit. It's not like they don't have underwear in Africa though, obv. we can just buy it there when we need it.