Wednesday, February 20, 2013
14 April, 2011
Dear Future Liz,
How is 2013, do you have flying cars yet? Would you even know? Have all the world's problems been solved? Did you make it all the way through 27 months? (Or, 25 now, at the time I'm writing this... Phew.) If you (I?...) did make it, I'm sure it feels like shorter than it does for me now. At this point I'm getting ready to move away from training and go off on my own and "live deliberately" in the words of Thoreau. I'm nervous about missing home, failing at my job, not being a good enough leader for Peace Corps, and generally sucking at this. The fears I have now are more pronounced than I had before arriving in Uganda, I feel because now that I'm here and know what to expect, I have more tangible fears. What are some things that have popped up during service that I hadn't even anticipated? How did you manage missing Scarlet? When did you start to feel comfortable and useful?
Most of me is pretty sure I'm too stubborn to give up on this, but I hope I don't struggle through two years, being completely miserable. I hope you had fun, felt like you learned something, and grew a lot (not necessarily in size...) I hope that you feel like it was worth it to leave your friends and family and live in Africa for 2 years, and I hope that you have no regrets about doing (or not doing) anything while you were here. I know that when I'm reading this at COS I will be so proud of what I've accomplished, knowing that for the rest of my life I will be able to say, "I did that."
Congratulations on making it as far as you did, no one will ever be able to take the experience from you.
As you might guess, I've had my COS conference. We finally scored a nice hotel (thank you PC!) and picked our dates to peace outta here. We got a nice little load of tasks to accomplish before we can go. We said goodbye to each other. Some of us cried. We had a late night poolside dance party and sang "send me on my way" and "tell the world I'm coming home." It was another moment where I felt outside myself, watching and trying to drink in what it tasted like so I wouldn't ever forget.
My last day as a PCV will be April 17th, less than two months away. So. Weird. I'm traveling for a little bit before returning home and making my next moves. I don't have everything figured out yet, far from it in fact, but I'm excited. (Also, a little bit anxious about fitting back into America... Not gonna lie.)